Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
lets start a swedish sibling band together
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
I'm at the gym. I've taken enough caffeine to feel inspired to be a low budget instagram fitness model. I totally forgot my push up bra though
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
Randomize
