It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
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