it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
Why I hate online dating: not even one day in and a 57 year old asks me to call him "Daddy."
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
Randomize
