I'm at derby!
The kentucky derby! But its night time, theres no way the horses are awake at this time.
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
You're earring is so big in my mouth
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
birth control should be required to get into college
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
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