i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
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