Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
She bit a glass in half.
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
Randomize