what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
he shaved USA in his pubs
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Randomize
