pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
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