Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
Randomize
