i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
I got fingered by sexual harassment panda last night, by a van, I can't remember if he took off his furry panda hands...
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
Randomize
