it's great music for shaving your balls
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
Randomize
