Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
SHE JUST SHOVED MY HAND DOWN HER PANTS AT THE BAR
Don't text me with that hand
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
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