4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
