Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
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