I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
Your cat ate my taco.
. . . I don't have a cat?
It was laying in your bed. Now it's hunting for more tacos.
Randomize
