i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
I'm gonna buy my dress an hour before wedding. You know, just to make sure it's gonna really happen.
T'would be a shame to waste that open bar though. They shouldn't do that to us. We've been having to pretend we're happy for two people who got engaged a week after they met.
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
Randomize
