remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
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