If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
our landlord thinks we're weird & alcoholics. he came in to fix our broken tub and saw the laundry door on our table for beer pong, the garbage bag full of empty fifths, and that one armed baby on the doorstep. plus he saw us swimming and yargging in our pirate pool that one time.
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
i like how i just referred to his pregnant wife as the "other" melissa and you didn't even judge me.
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
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