Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
