everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
Opening beer with my teeth is getting easier the drunker I become.
It turns out my teeth are bleeding.
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
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