Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Randomize