Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
Randomize
