Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
Randomize
