I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
Holy shit, Uber is testing a service to summon an ice cream truck.
Bring me the penis of the founder so I may endlessly fellate him. Or cunnalinge. I don't discriminate.
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
It wasn't your birthday, you weren't supposed to be the drunk one
When people keep buying you drinks at the bar because they like you, you can't say no to them
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Randomize
