How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
Randomize
