I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
I'm training him to sit when I whistle the tune from the hunger games. I'm going to be the coolest parent ever.
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
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