I wish I only lived at night.
I knew I had to get an abortion when his toddler sister came up to hug my leg and I kicked her off saying, "Get off, fucker."
I was in the bathroom throwing up...when I walked out he was sitting there watching porn and jacking off. He said, "Sounded like you were gonna be in there for a while."
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
Randomize
