Don't you send me to vm
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
Randomize
