i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
I smell like a brewery and I have been drinking for 7 hours. This seems like a perfect time to tell my husband I want a divorce.
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
if you didn't cry because you couldn't find me and then pee your bed, your wingman status would totally be revoked for leaving me at that party.
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