I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
It'll be a Christmas-Fucking-Miracle if we get through the ceremony without a groomsman vomming
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
I feel like a drive thru vagina
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
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