i wish there were pregnant emoticons
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
Randomize
