I got chris browned last night
Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
when I die covered in cocaine, hookers, and tequila at 73 years old just remember that I once had a tweet with that many retweets
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
Randomize
