my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
All I remember thinking is, why the fuck are there martians on the ceiling? And they were riding fruit. Like strawberries and shit.
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
Randomize
