I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
It's like God shit irony all over that family
is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
Randomize
