he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
Randomize