using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
Turn sideways at McDonald's = actual directions to a winery
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
She guessed my name 9 times, and 5 of those times she guessed Mike. Figured that'd be an easy target for the night.
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
Randomize
