Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
There's a Russian superstition that you'll spend your year the way you celebrate New Year's, so I'm honestly not that surprised you're drunk.
Randomize
