im drinking this country out of the recession.
wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
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