I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
I think I won the penis lottery.
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
It's official drugs can't kill me
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
Randomize