is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
I just duct taped myself into my costume. I apologize in advance if you find me in a compromised position involving duct tape and underwear when you get home tonight
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
Randomize
