Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
Randomize
