that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
Randomize
