4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
If you're going to drink sriracha straight from the bottle whilst crying, at least wear the giant sombrero for the enjoyment of your audience.
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
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