Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
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