He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
that's an acceptable place to lick
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
Don't you hate falling asleep on the couch with a glass of wine in your hand? It's like dreaming about peeing and then realizing you've peed the bed only stickier.
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
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