i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
Randomize
