There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
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