Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Randomize
