It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
Randomize
