O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
I'm telling everyone at work the mark on my neck is a hickey but really I was taking a shit while straightening my hair and burned myself
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
He did a backflip because drugs
Randomize