who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
someone took a shit in my car last night and left $5 on the seat...
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
That was an excessively violent trivia night
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
