He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
Ordered weed last night from the delivery service, and who showed up...my old real estate broker. He said, "this is less stressful." Duh.
Im in a bar and I just invented a scrabble drinking game. People are cheering. It's like the universe has aligned itself.
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
Your cat ate my taco.
. . . I don't have a cat?
It was laying in your bed. Now it's hunting for more tacos.
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
