You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
They don't have a Valentines Day card for the married guy I'm sleeping with. It can't use the words, love, soulmate, you're the only one for me...and obviously it can't be anything related to spending the day together because that's not happening.
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
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