lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
My 40 year old neighbors are throwing a party for their eight year old niece's birthday. It's 1am and they're still partying hard. Harder than me. It's Saturday. Just say it, I'm a disgrace to the generation.
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
Him cheating on his girlfriend resulted in a $1500 hospital bill from repeated blows to his testicles by my ass. They diagnosed his pain as "testicle trauma". Sex karma at it's finest.
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
Randomize
