Well apparently he's into motor boating.
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
Let the clothes fall where they may.
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
Randomize
