sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
I fear hooking up with people who have white pillowcases because my guyliner always smears on it and i either have to A. sneak out in the night or B. wash it and see them again
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
Randomize
