He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
